literature

It doesnt matter now

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Literature Text

He sits right next to you and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body.  He hasn't said anything and neither did you. You have nothing to say. Nothing that could possibly make up for anything you did. You cautiously glance over at him. The brown silk of his Hood is stained with red blotches of his own blood. You wonder what happned. You wonder how he managed to die after ascending to god tier. The thought of him dying twice makes your heart ache.
The last thing you remember of him from your life is the shocked expression after you killed 2 of your best friends and blinded a third one. You can't say you're sorry for blinding Sollux. Because you are not. But you wouldn't mention it. It doesn't matter anyway.
You glance at his face. You can't tell what he is thinking nor what kind of expression that is. You hate seeing these white eyes. He used to be so expressive. His eyes. They could betray each and everyone of his emotions even if he was trying to actually hide them. You loved gettin into arguments with him just to watch his expressions. He was always so angry and expressive. He isn't now anymore. He seems content and relaxed while glancing up to the moon.  When he turns around to face you you feel like he cought you doing something bad and immediatly look away. You feel his dead stare boring into your skin, feeling like he can see right into your mind, invading your thoughts.  You don't like this feeling and you turn back, scowling at him. "wwhat is it?" you almost yell. You didn't mean to and you regret it the second it's out. That's it he's probably going to leave now. Leave you with your miserable self dwelling in the shadows of your memories forever.
But he doesn't. He just looks at you. His expression has softned and it makes your heart ache and the feeling almost chokes you. He looks so beautiful and you know he must've died somehow heroic because someone like him could never ever die a just death. If you'd ever had the chance to ascend to god tier you would have died as just. You are sure of that.
He had always tried his best to keep everyone safe and you hate yourself for making his life even harder than it was already. You feel tears dwelling up in your eyes. He still hasn't said a thing he is just looking at you with those blank eyes, this expression of understanding and this little smile. He is smiling. He is just smiling at you and that is when you completely loose it. Tears are running down your cheeks and there is a stone in your stomach and you're choking on the pain it causes you. You cannot bare to look at him anymore and you bury your face in your hands while you sob like the pathetic looser you always have seemed to be.
You want to scream but nothing comes out of your mouth. That's when you feel him. He is wrapping his arms around your neck and pulls you closer into a comforting embrace. He is warm. He is warm and his clothes are soft and all you can do is desperatly cling to him like he is the last stable thing that keeps you from drowning in the darkness that seemed to follow you all your life and even in your death. And he probably is. You bury your face in his shoulder and sob, probably staining his clothes with your tears. But he doesn't seem to care. Instead he runs one of his hands through your hair carefully and hugs you closer. After a while he starts humming something and you finally stop crying. You're just sitting there, clinging to him and you never want to let go. "It's alright now. It doesn't matter anymore." he whispers and it makes you smile. It's a faint smile but it's there. And you know he is right. Nothing matters now anymore. Nothing except the two of you. And now eternity doesn't seem so bad anymore.
a little Erikar snippet. Dreambubble shenanigans. not really original but idc. Listening to 'What about now' from Westlife is a good idea because perfect erikar song u.u

eridan/Karkat © andrew hussie
© 2012 - 2024 Kestrill
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KehXKeova's avatar
This is beautiful!! :heart: